tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post3648133291630001211..comments2023-06-07T13:32:48.514+01:00Comments on Mushypea, Sprout et al: To be a gentleman_Mushypeahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17888420773382927728noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-37616225264259879842012-08-08T09:11:22.934+01:002012-08-08T09:11:22.934+01:00Lyd is only telling you what you tell her which is...Lyd is only telling you what you tell her which is actually a good thing from where I'm standing. I am all for the "do as I do" and if Munch picks me up in the moments of "do as I say" then I know we have done our job well.<br /><br />Heehee, blame is a funny thing. I am the person I am because of the life I have lived so far - it doesn't define me forever and I can choose to be different I believe. The screwed up bits of me are down to my childhood but I know that and cannot change it. My future is mine to shape._Mushypeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17888420773382927728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-4445254224191376742012-08-07T22:30:12.949+01:002012-08-07T22:30:12.949+01:00I agree that it's not male or female, but just...I agree that it's not male or female, but just role models in general. I think it's important that our kids know we're not perfect. We make mistakes, we're not infallible. I think it's important that when Lydia sees me not at my best (because she has and she will), that I have the humility to admit when I'm wrong, apologise, and tell her I'm working on it. And then actually work on it! I think this is what was missing for us. There were no apologies, no humility, just 'you will obey and respect' for no other reason than we were small and bullied into it.<br /><br />Granted it's a pain in the ass when I tell Lydia off and she says, 'Stop yelling at people'! Is that talking back, or is it telling me I'm raising my voice unnecessarily? Who the hell knows.<br /><br />Sometimes kids don't choose the right thing. Imagine what our parents were thinking with our decisions!! I know Mum blamed herself for a lot of it. On one hand I think, YES you crap head parents - it was YOU! On the other, how long can we blame them until it's just an easy way to not take responsibility for our actions? <br /><br />I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, but it does help me see that most parents, even ours (albeit sometimes a funny way of showing it), have the best intentions. We can spend too much time trying to 'teach' our kids the right thing to do, when inevitably they learn the most from our actions when we don't realise they're watching.Soniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12475692407191953949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-14340089006721417432012-08-07T09:59:15.834+01:002012-08-07T09:59:15.834+01:00Oh wise one ;) It was reading the article that ma...Oh wise one ;) It was reading the article that made me think about this topic and when I racked my brain trying to think of positive male role models there were but a few. As for being the most influential - that'll be why Sprout and I want to be so very different to those that influenced us. OMG, what happens when he chooses wrong???_Mushypeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17888420773382927728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-69908040273956630152012-08-07T09:50:59.833+01:002012-08-07T09:50:59.833+01:00I am the perpetual worrier! For some reason I had...I am the perpetual worrier! For some reason I had it in my head that he needed male role models but from your comment it has made me stop and think that actually maybe it's not so important after all right now. Thank you - you've made me consider this from a different angle._Mushypeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17888420773382927728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-19278711095594643592012-08-07T09:44:34.984+01:002012-08-07T09:44:34.984+01:00I always strive to be better which in itself is a ...I always strive to be better which in itself is a positive and a negative attribute that I possess. Since our son was born this has grown exponentially; he makes me want to be the best person I can be and I am my own worst critic I know. We too want him to be surrounded by people that hold the same values as ours - I am coming to the conclusion I need to associate with different people - maybe that's a bit extreme?<br /><br />Thanks for reading and taking time to comment!_Mushypeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17888420773382927728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-86175801262724278302012-08-07T09:37:04.516+01:002012-08-07T09:37:04.516+01:00I find it hard when it comes to addressing the neg...I find it hard when it comes to addressing the negative influences when the reaction is that whatever is said gets ignored. So, we limit contact instead. Minefield this parenting lark!_Mushypeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17888420773382927728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-6304502434068372052012-08-07T03:08:36.275+01:002012-08-07T03:08:36.275+01:00The most influential adults in a child's life ...The most influential adults in a child's life are the parents. Think about all the people we were exposed to and think about who had the most influence of all. If you have the emotional maturity and balance at home, that's what he will learn from the most. At some point, he chooses to become who he wants to be - he just has to be taught that it's a conscious decision and always a choice.Soniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12475692407191953949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-88031521132576153272012-08-06T12:06:05.494+01:002012-08-06T12:06:05.494+01:00Most of the qualities I have as a man I learnt fro...Most of the qualities I have as a man I learnt from my Mum. I didn't have a father figure in my life when I was growing up so she was responsible for instilling the majority of moral values I still have now. My son is 3 months old and I always want to a positive influence on his life but his Mamma will play an equal role in his development as a gentleman. I really don't think you need to worry too much about the range of positive male role models little Munch has now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-68436253875853756082012-08-06T11:57:25.372+01:002012-08-06T11:57:25.372+01:00Great post.
I always strive to be a positive male...Great post. <br />I always strive to be a positive male role model to my children. My son is very similar to me in lots of ways. Thoughtful, a little shy at times, but says please and thank you and understands when people are upset. Sadly we have a small family and there aren't any others that my children will meet. Both his grandfathers are dead and he has no uncles. The others he will come across are friends, and fathers of other children he meets, and my hope is that they have the same values so that he sees this across the board.@SAHDandproudhttp://dadandproud.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994983040768142422.post-24476491585716729382012-08-06T10:10:45.303+01:002012-08-06T10:10:45.303+01:00Very interesting. I too think it's important f...Very interesting. I too think it's important for my son to have positive male role models. His father is brilliant in that regard but we need to make an effort to spend time with extended family, now that we've moved. I would hope we can address effects of any negative influences as we go along. That's the theory, anyway!Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15105763061461232432noreply@blogger.com