Time Flies

Wow!  Where has the time gone?  It's been a good two weeks since I've had chance to sit and blog and it's frightening how quickly time seems to be passing by.  The past month has been a blur,  what with settling in visits at nursery for Munch and then my phasing back into work.  We are getting used to our new routines and so far, touch wood, I've not been late for work yet - phew! I do hate tardiness so it would've have wound me up if I had been.

Nursery has brought with it a mixture of emotions.  The first few visits were hard; I'd spent ten months in Munch's company and all of a sudden I had hours, then half days and finally full days without him. I felt lost and bewildered which made returning to work my escape.  I cannot abide being on my own - I never have and I don't think I ever will; when left to my own devices I need things to occupy me or my choice is to sleep to pass the time quickly if that makes sense.  Munch took to nursery very well, extremely well even.  He bonded with his carer and got to play all day with other children which he thoroughly enjoyed.  The change has been made easier as we haven't had to worry about him as much as we imagined.  Yes, there are a few tears as he was/is dropped off in the morning but these are short lived.  He has changed so much since being in constant contact with others.  He learns from them and comes home with new expressions and skills which never fail to amaze us and make us smile.

My return to work was smoother than expected and after a good couple of weeks of phasing in I will return to full time work next week.  My mornings are not very different other than my being aware of the clock to ensure we all get out of the house on time.  The early starts are more welcome as it is these hours which give me my main contact with Munch on work days.  The early feeds and that morning smile more than make up for the fact that I have probably woken sometime past 6.30am only a handful of times these past eleven months.  My life after work is tough going though.  By the time I get home from work Munch and Daddy have eaten and the bedtime routine is fast approaching. I normally snatch half an hour play and then bath, book and bed beckon - this has meant that I'm eating my evening meal on my own, which is a very strange experience, and it's later than I'd like but hey ho there's little I can do about it.  I would say that I have loved being back at work as it has given me new energy and vigour for the time that I do get to spend with Munch.  I've had the magical experience of a genuinely happy smiley face greet me when I get home; the emotions that beaming face conjures cannot be described using any words I know. 

This month Munch and I will be travelling to York for the Twitter/blogger meet up that I've arranged. This month Munch will turn one.  This month, I will be another year older too.  This month Sprout and I will have been fully fledged parents for a full twelve months.  This month is an extremely busy and exciting one - this time last year I had started maternity leave and was busy sitting on the sofa watching television and had finally succumbed to eating junk.  This time last year I was 'fat' and thanking the heavens I'd made it to September without popping.  What a difference a year makes huh?

The beginning of the lasts

This time next week Munch will have his first settling in session at the nursery that we have chosen for him.  He starts exactly two weeks before my first day back at work; partly for him to get used to his new surroundings and new faces but mostly for me to adjust to being without him.  I am not looking forward to going back and I wrote about my feelings here.

This is my final full week with our dear, beautiful boy until our break in September and as luck would have it, it is this week that our bathroom is being done so we are stuck indoors!  Bah.  Our weekly routine of seeing all grandparents comes to an end as does the time he spends with his cousin.  We are about to deal a real blow to not just ourselves but to those around us too.  We have been in our current routine since the start of the year so we will all have been used to our comings and goings for a full seven months.

The grandparents have watched him grow and develop on a weekly basis; how we are going to fit visits in around us both working, running the house and family time we have not a clue.  How do we strike the balance and keep everyone happy?  The going to work and running a house has me scratching my head in wonder before I've even gone back yet!  In these seven months he has gotten to know his cousin and she him.  The jealous behaviour that we saw at first has been replaced with excitement and happiness when they see one another; the developing of this relationship I will work hard to maintain.  As a child I never got to know my many cousins; they lived on an entirely different continent which hampers things a little,  and so it has made me want to create a close bond between our son and his cousin.  I feel it part of our responsibility to forge the family relationship in these early years; our children can only have such relationships when us as parents work at making the effort and making time for them I believe.

Our weekly baby sensory group stops too.  I have watched him go from being the youngest to now being one of the older members and the time has come to move into the preschool group.  He has gone from being a babe in arms and having to be taken to the quiet area when he became overstimulated, to a mobile baby who is off exploring everything including the younger babies.  I will miss this group very much.  There are three of us Mums and there are but three weeks between our children; we have shared our experiences and watched as the boys interact evermore week on week.  Munch and I will be moving to the preschool group which fits in with my work schedule; they will be going to a different group - will our paths cross again?

Swimming has come to an end just as the little man was getting used to being in the water on his back.  Sprout and I have decided that we will go to the local pool as a family instead.  We will return to lessons once Munch is a little older and understands instructions but for now we want to keep him water confident at the very least. 

We have many lasts this week and are about to experience a raft of new beginnings.  There is trepidation as with any change but there is an air of excitement that exists too; as time ticks by there is a sadness as I say goodbye to this life which has given us both so much comfort,  Munch and I have had an idyllic seven months but we move forwards to pastures new of sorts.  Are we ready?  There are many, many firsts coming our way; we just need to remember to note them all down!

Remember when

Remember when the earth used to move - a lot - in the early days of your relationship?  You go through that honeymoon period as you get to know each other and then things inevitably settle down as life gets back on track.  Add to that a baby and the earth seems to get stuck on its axis as you both come to terms with the changes taking place.  There will probably be many a false start as there is nothing that puts out those flames quite so quickly as a child demanding your attention ... there are your own parents of course but that's not what I'm talking about here.

I have read and heard about the father's being patient and having needs to fulfill.  There seem to be plenty willing to share that.  It made me stop and think.  I actually haven't come across any discussion amongst mothers about theirs.  It has to be done .... *looks wistfully around and extends hand in the air*  I'm a mother, I have a nine month old son and actually I have needs too.  There I said it.  I know that in the feeling lonely, isolated, teary states,  I have many that stand with me.  Why haven't I come across a Mum saying that your sex life changes too?

Towards the end of my pregnancy I felt fat.  My hips ached through having PSD; moving became cumbersome and I didn't feel attractive, glowing or any of the things they say in the glossy magazines.  My hair never got lush and at this moment in time I am beginning to moult (it's the only word for it) as my hormones start to change again.  Post birth was not much better.  My nether regions felt like a multitude of balloon animals had taken up residence - you know what I mean to those ladies who experienced a vaginal birth.  No-one had told me that would happen and although some part of me really wanted to get a mirror to take a peek, I controlled myself and didn't.  I cannot imagine it was a pretty site to behold; not that I can be found spread-eagled inspecting my up and unders everyday I'd like to add!   Add to that the crepe-like belly, swollen ankles, bags under the eyes and general dishevelled look I was rocking, sexy and attractive was not how I felt.

The belly and swollen ankles are now gone and the hedge backwards style only makes an appearance as a one off special every so often.  You would think we'd be back in business right?  Wrong!  It gets replaced with impeccable timing by the little man or, more often than not, sheer exhaustion.  My libido is still there ticking away in the background like an unexploded bomb but life has gotten in the way.  Would I like to work my womanly charms?  Of course, but the chances of me having fallen asleep before the man of the house has even finished brushing his teeth are very, very high.  A wry smile flickers across my face as I write this - sex would be nice.  To be awake when the opportunity arises would be more helpful though!

I cannot believe for one moment that I am alone in how I feel.  Wouldn't it be nice to feel all womanly and yummy rather than frumpy?  I have had discussions about my feelings at my most vulnerable moments with complete strangers whom I've never met.  Is sex too personal a topic? 

Someone has to go first right?  I'll start.

*gulps*

"Hi, I'm Mushypea.  I'm finding it difficult to have a sex life now we have a baby.  Do you?"

*waits for the anonymous comments*

Baby-led weaning: Two months in

Do you remember me posting about baby-led weaning a couple months back?  If not, you can read it here.

Munch is eight and a half months old now and we have made adjustments and added new skills along the way.  We started baby-led weaning (BLW) when Munch hit the six month mark.  For the month and a half prior to this we had introduced him to his high chair; in part because he had gotten bored craning his neck to try and see what we were doing from his activity centre when we were eating, but also to get him used to being included at meal times.  At around five and a half months of age we started leaving him easy to grab pieces of vegetables from our meal - of course all he did was play and look at them with the odd piece reaching his mouth but other than that he did nothing with it.  We knew he swallowed some by the way they came out in his nappy.  Oh the fun I had determining the food items that had made it to his stomach.  We purposely waited until six months before going at BLW with vigour as Munch was prone to eczema - even before we started we knew we would have to be careful as he had suffered from bad bouts of nappy rash in reaction to certain foods which had passed to him through my breastmilk.

On hitting the six month mark we started with breakfast.  Fingers of toast - they found his way to his mouth and he gummed away to his delight.  From there on in BLW has become this magical journey of food discovery - Munch has this expression that he has when he tries a new food which passes as quickly as it appears and he will then quite happily take his fill.  Our eating habits were pretty good before Munch and so the adjustments we needed to make to our diet was minimal. In the first couple of weeks of BLW he did suffer from trapped wind but that passed once his digestive system had gotten the message that his diet was changing.  After two weeks on BLW, his dirty nappies changed completely much to the disgust of Sprout!

We have been very aware of the foods neither of us really ate - namely fresh tomato.  Imagine our surprise when he absolutely loved fresh tomato!  As with most adults, Sprout and I do have a few food preferences of our own but we have worked to offer these foods to Munch so that he doesn't miss discovering a new taste or texture.  Hell, I've eaten bits of hard boiled egg with a smile on my face at breakfast with him and I cannot begin to tell you how much I cannot stand them.  Maybe you think we are going to extreme but I look at some of the children we come into contact with and have noticed that they are already displaying the same attitude towards certain foods as their parents.  Sprout and I want Munch to enjoy all foods - even if they are those we don't.

We watched as he got upset and frustrated with things like rice and mince and made the decision that a preloaded spoon was the way to go for a while.  OK, at times he ends up with food all over his head and other times he will sit and open his mouth and we will feed him because he is having a lazy day.  We're not the strictest of baby-led weaners; we follow his cues so in our own way I think we are.  He has never been one to launch food off his tray even though we have a splash mat in place.  Nor does he like being cleaned up with a damp flannel after meals.  We announce that we are going to wipe his face so it's not so much of a shock but even after more than two months of this we are still met with tears! 

Meals out are a joy.  The only thing that has taken getting used to has been not having dessert.  Boy is that difficult.  A meal out is a treat in my book and I have always been one that has dessert but because we are not at the stage where we are offering them to Munch, Sprout and I agreed that we cannot have them either.  Yes, there may be fruit salad on offer but I refuse to pay for something that I can easily whip up at home.  It is doing me good but it has meant we secretly eat our treats once he is in bed for the night - so possibly not so good huh?  During the recent bout of summer sunshine we even had our first picnic together.  I was not sure what to expect as Munch has always eaten at a table but hey, no problem whatsoever.  He sat and ate without once trying to crawl away - success.

Sprout and I are used to BLW; he gags very rarely and we have learnt to trust him when he proceeds to put something in his mouth.  The hardest part I have found is when we are in the company of others - "That piece is too big", "He won't like that", "It's too spicy for babies" etc, etc, etc or even the simple act of helping put something in his hand/mouth.  I have many a time stated in my most authoritative tone that he is fine and to leave him be.  Interfering usually means he is more likely to gag or choke but try explaining that!  He eats three meals a day without it becoming a drama and I can be found trawling around the fresh fruit and veg looking for new things to offer him.

We are learning and adapting all the time.  The only thing that has beaten us thus far is how do we get the spoon back from him without a fight?  We have offered a different spoon but that normally results in Munch holding one in each hand.  Suggestions will be gratefully received!