Opinion. You have yours and I have mine - we may agree on some, overlap on others and heaven forbid even disagree at times.
Being a parent somehow gives everyone free reign to give you theirs on a regular basis - sometimes in a well-meaning and helpful manner and others in an 'I know best' kind of way. We all parent in our own style - a personal mash-up of various tried and tested, as well as the not so tested, methods that sit with our own beliefs as to what parenting should be. Begs the question, why are some so forceful with their opinions?
The most horrifying discovery in the parenting arena for me has been when those sharing the same opinions band together and mock/belittle those that have differing ones. From my point of view, this behaviour is tantamount to bullying. An emotive word I know but that is how I see it I am afraid to say.
I am all for learning from others and discussing reasons as to why we are following a particular path. That does not mean we presume to know what is best, expect anyone else to adopt our parenting choices or that our personal book on parenting is better than anyone elses. Even in this short space of time, the thoughts that we had on parenting pre-Munch have developed and changed as we have had to adapt and evolve with each passing day. Hell, I was very anti-dummy use until I got so desperate that I was willing to try anything, even that! My relief when the little man refused it point blank was palpable mind.
The choices and decisions we make as to how best to bring up our child/ren come, in part, from personal experience, knowledge we get given and seek, experience of others etc etc. Parenting is full of enough guilt about whether what we are doing is right without others adding to it by telling us our decisions are wrong/bad.
Is it too much to ask that we all respect each other's opinions? I, for one, cannot presume to know what drives another parent to the difficult decisions that we all have to make. Can you?
Great post. I was only thinking about this issue the other day. I get frustrated when people disrespect others by using phrases such as, "I can't understand what stay at home mums do all day", or "I would never put my child into nursery - can you imagine leaving him?" loudly in a room full of other parents (whose individual situations are all different). What's wrong with saying that something works/doesn't work for you personally?
ReplyDeleteIt has been something that has been bugging me ever since I got pregnant and more so just recently. It has been hard to write without a full-on rant taking place. We're are all parents trying to do the same thing - we should be supportive of one another as we're all learning all the time.
DeleteI'm glad you enjoyed reading x
Brilliant post. I've found parenting to be one of the biggest things I've ever been criticised for and it's taken me 6 months to finally accept that I'm doing right by my son, that we're all individuals as parents and that each situation differs from the next.
ReplyDeleteI think people should give guidance where necessary, but in terms of being just plain rude, it's uncalled for.
You are doing what you deem to be best for your son. That is what matters. I think it does take time to trust yourself as there is so much advice out there it's bewildering.
DeleteThanks for reading x
Such an emotive issue. Just yesterday someone told me how awful she thought it was to put kids into nursery - and then asked me what my plans were with my little one. To which I replied she was going to nursery! Parenting, in my experience, has taught me to be extremely tolerant about all parenting styles.
ReplyDeleteEvery decision we make has numerous pros and cons - we only hope that we make the right ones for our children. I get that comment too. I remind myself that people are entitled to their opinions but have no power to force theirs on me unless I give it them. Thanks for taking time to read. x
DeleteI think that some people stand by their parenting styles so much that they feel they have to sway everyone else, when all they succeed in doing is making others feel like they're being judged.
ReplyDeleteI try hard not to judge, but obviously it happens.
Are you sure you are not inside my head???
Deleteyou cant please everyone, if you stay at home people moan and if you work they also moan.....
ReplyDeleteThe answer I think is to please ourselves and do whatever works best for us as a family.
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