I'm finding that attention is becoming a bone of contention. I have a specific idea that I hold in my head as to what giving our son attention should be. For me, it is undivided and given to him without question but from comments that have been passed I wonder if I am getting it wrong.
"He's very clingy", "He'll find it hard at nursery", "You haven't left him with others enough" .... there are plenty more and you know what? It makes my blood boil. Do I rise up to those that say these things to me? No. I am at that point where I feel that it is pointless me responding as it only unleashes more hurtful comments which makes me feel utterly helpless, useless and rubbish.
Our son craves more and more play that involves interaction; he is happy to play on his own for a while but is going through that phase where he likes to know we are there and no, that does not mean he is permanently attached to my body! Why is his natural development not taken as such? If I had spent nearing ten months in the company of one other person for 99% of that time I wouldn't doubt that I would behave the same. He adapts to new situations as we all do; he will do it far better as he has no preconceived ideas or notions that we as adults have. Do I find it strange that he takes time to warm to strangers? Not at all. I personally prefer him to be cautious and take his time to get used to new people; I don't treat people I've just met as though we're long lost friends so why should Munch?
Have I pandered to his needs too much? If he has wanted a cuddle I have given it, when he has been upset I have consoled him, whatever he has needed I have delivered without question. In making sure he has gotten my undivided attention I thought I was laying the foundations of emotional stability, trust and the confidence to make those independent explorations of the world.
So why do I get made to feel as though I have given too much? Why do I get made to feel that I have done wrong by giving him all the attention I have? Is there such a thing as too much attention? And why, oh why is this parenting malarkey such a minefield? I am giving our son what I believe will give him the best start in life, if I am doing him harm through all the attention I shower on him then I'm not sure I understand what being a parent means to some.